I have been blessed to be able to stay at home, full time, with my kids for the past 15 years, their whole lives. That really, truly is a tremendous blessing in this day and age; especially, having lived in Orange County, CA, one of the most expensive places to live. AND the fact that Danny is self-employed. He has worked really hard all these years to make sure that I can stay home with my kids. I am so thankful that he understands the value of mom being home at all times. That there are those special little life moments whern you here the spirit whisper that it is an opportune moment to plant the seed of an invaluable lesson in their hearts.
It has been so valuable to be able to be at the kids' school and work in the classroom. To get to know the environment that they are in away from home. To get a glimpse of what they go through. It has helped me help shape their way into forging some really great frienships. It has helped me understand that I need to cut them some slack cuz their teacher is a little to harsh. I can do a sneak drive by at recess to see that maybe it's not that "nobody will play with them," but rather they just don't want to play what everyone else is playing. Cuz for sure every time I drove by for the last two weeks you were playing happily with someone!
It is also the peace and comfort of knowing that if you don't feel good, or forgot something, or something just goes wrong, you know there is someone to rescue you. I can say that because that is how I always felt. Even though we may not have always seen eye to eye, I felt emmense peace and comfort in knowing that mom was there for me.
I am not, by any means, saying I am better than the mother that has to go out and work, no way. We all do what we have to do. We listen to the spirit and we are all meant to follow a different course. In fact, I am facing, in this economy, the fact that I need to do something that will help contribute monetarily to my family now. With the economy the way it is, missions, colleges, marriage and the fact that we'd like to retire someday, it just has become a necessity.
So I guess, I have been thinking of the tremendous blessing that I have been able to enjoy for these last years. Most importantly, I think I have become aware of what an emmense blessing it has been when there have definately been many times when I have been pressured into feeling like I don't do enough because I do not help my family out in any temporal ways. During those times, I have prayed and the answer has been clear to me that what I was doing was of more value than I realized. I have been grateful for those sweet assurances. The job of mother is really a partnership in helping the work of our Heavenly Father go forward. What can be more important than that? NOTHING. So of course, that is why we are led to feel so pressured and insecure about our role.
I am writing this personal note, because my blog, is really a journal for my family. I am hopefully going to be able to give a copy to each child. When Kierstin reads through this, and she is feeling the same pressure and having the same doubts, she will realize that she was not alone in feeling this and that mother is to be first and foremost in her life. Even though we do still feel it is important for her to get her college education.
I am writing this so that when my 4 boys read this, they will realize they must do all they can to help their wives to stay home with their kids like their dad did for them. They had that blessing and they owe it to their kids if it in their ability after doing all they can do. For without the support of the husband, mom's job seems just such an insurmountable task.
So, I want to express my gratitude at being able to being able to give my all to the best job in the world!!
