Baak Talk

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Check on My Faith

Like I have stated before, this blog is for the purpose of perserving a piece of the Baak Family history. It is a journal of things going on in our family. A tangible history that my kids especially, can reflect upon. May it stir the feelings and emotions the experiences we have shared evoked within us.

I treasure many of the memories created in my family while growing up. I have had some profound spiritual experiences when I was very young that kept me spiritually grounded as I grew older and went through what I call "the finding process" of my life. It is that period of life when you really internalize everything you have been told and learned from your parents, and those around you, and decide for yourself if they are really true.

I have had several people tell me over the years that if they had been raised to believe something, most specifically, the gospel, they would believe it is true too. That is not true. After a certain point, typically in the teenage years, you begin to question everything around you. You decide for yourself if you are really going to accept the beliefs presented to you or choose a different route. We all come to that fork in the road.

Fortunately, I was able to have several experiences within my family when I was young that testified to me that the teachings of the gospel that my parents presented to me were true. Most importantly, they taught me the process that I could discover for myself, if those principles were really true. I went through that process and have learned for myself it is.

I am truly grateful to my parents for working hard to teach me the princples of the gospel and creating an environment where I could discover the truthfulness of its teachings.

I am striving to create that with my children now. I want them to remember these experiences. I had a chance to share one with them recently and I want them to remeber it....

Right before Thanksgiving, Danny finished up a job and got paid for it. He gave me the check to deposit in the bank. I happened to be on my way out taking Tyson and Tiki for a walk. I didn't want to go back in the house so I folded it up and put it in my back pocket, like I do most things. We walked all the way across our neighborhood and into a different block and back. We came home and I did several household chores all around the house and in the garage.

A few hours later I decided I had better go to the bank and deposit the check; it was gone. It was not in my back pocket or in the place where I usually kept checks for deposit. Nor was it in my purse. I searched all around the house where I had been and in the garage. I checked the trash, under beds, every nook and crany. I was fairly certain that I had put it in my back pocket but desperately hoped I might have put it somewhere else and forgotten I had.

After I had searched all over, high and low, in and out, I had a last desperate thought that I had put it on the counter and Danny and taken it to deposit it instead. I admit, I really didn't want to ask because if he didn't have it, it would mean I had been irresponsible and the dreaded reality of what I was pretty sure had happened, would be real.

I asked Danny... no, he didn't have it. My heart sunk and I knew that it must have fallen out of my pocket along the way of my walk. I was especially distressed since it was a mildly windy day and the only place I had stopped was in front of the bridge to nowhere. There is a beautiful bridge that leads into nowhere, the wilderness, as we call it, behind our house. They were supposed to build several more houses back there but they ran out of funds. I had stopped with Tiki and Tyson in front of that spot. I was afraid it had blown out into the wilderness since the wind was blowing that way.

I go back the way I had went straining my eyes at every single little spec that could be a folded up check. What were the odds of finding it? Very slight but worth a search. When I couldn't find it, Danny went out to try to look for it, to no avail.

Danny could ask for another check but how would that look about how responsible he (rather me) is. Plus, it would take a few days and we could really use the money now.

I ask the one person to find it that I KNOW can find it. I got down on my knees in my bedroom and pleaded with Heavenly Father to help me find the check rather than make an object lesson out of it for me. I told him I knew he knew where it was and that he could have it returned to me.

By this time, it is time to pick up the kids from school. I am running a little late. I strain my eyes on all sides of the road for a piece of paper. I especially look at the intersection of the bridge to nowhere. I can't see it anywhere. I go pick up Kierstin. I am running her back home before I pick up Bryce and Brian all the while searching. When I get to the corner of the turn into our neighborhood and the bridge to nowhere what do I see? On the ground on the corner, right in the middle of the grassy area is a folded piece of paper resisting the breeze pushing against it. I startle Kierstin by telling her to jump out and grab that piece of paper....

Do I even need to tell you that it was the check? Do I need to even say that it WAS an ABSOLUTE answer to my prayer? That Heavenly Father is mindful of each one of us and all of our trivial little problems? Do I need to tell you that I walked by, biked by and drove twice by that very spot all the while searching? Is this not PROOF that Heavenly Father ABSOLUTELY, CERTAINLY AND FOR REAL answered my prayer? I attest to you that he did!! There are no coincidences in life. I have lived through too many of these kinds of experiences to tell you that God is REAL. He bestows tender mercies upon me so many times. Would it have been devestating to not find the check? No. Danny could have asked for another one. Would it have been a good lesson for me to be more responsible, Absolutely!! But Heavenly Father bestowed a tender mercy upon me even though I was careless as he has done so many times before.

This was truly a tangible example of the Lord answering my prayers and in a way that I could share it with my kids. They could see how crazy it was for me to have been able to find that check, hours later on a breezy day. It was like it was put right there, at that moment for me to find . I would like to thank the helper angel that did it. Mostly, I want to express gratitude to a tender Father in Heaven who expressed his love to me that day.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Thanksgiving 2009

Bryce was writing a paper for school on his family Thanksgiving traditions. He chose to talk about how we go to the desert dirt bike riding. Funny, I didn't really consider it a "tradition" before, but he's right. For the last 5 years we have been going with Danny's brother Dave and his family out to the desert to go dirt biking.

I have to admit I really do look forward to going every year. This year, we weren't sure we would be able to go. But we managed to go at the last minute. We we were all happy to be able to go.

Not only do we enjoy riding the dirt bikes, but we love visitng with Dave, Linda and whichever their kids are able to make it. We have the full on Thanksgiving meal in the desert. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, yams, salad, the full spread. This year it was especially tasty!!

We have gone to Johnson's dry Lake Bed in Lucerne Valley for several years. However, that has got CRAZY crowded. Last time we were they they had to med-lift someone out. We decided to try over in Yucca Valley by Joshua tree again. We had went there 2 years ago and enjoyed it. It was a good pic. Not crowded, Joshua Tree was close by and the weather was GORGEOUS!!

Danny's dad and brother Derek with his 2 kids, Ben & Ava met us on Friday and stayed till Saturday with us. Good times had by all...

Dave & Linda with Danny, Bryce & Brain

Bradley with a friend he met that was a friend of Dave's son.

Bryce & Brain, Again..

Kierstin & Ann Marie
(I missed Sam!! She must have went back for 2nds! boo)

Danny & Derek & Fred working on "quadzilla"

Brian got to ride the quad solo this year! He was excited

we could hardly pry him off it.

When we did, this is where he would be,

next to Bryce in front of gaming of course.

The face of fun!

When it was Ava's turn to ride the quad. Ben & Brian got in some

air soft time!

Tyson would hitch a ride with whomever he could.

Especially with Opa on quadzilla!!

Another satisfied rider!

Unfortunately, this is the only pic I got of Bryce waiting to take a turn on the 90.
He became really proficient on it this time. WHOOT Bryce!!

Boy + dirt = FUN!!

Boy + Dirt + Dog + Friend your age = GOOD TIMES!!

I realize I didn't do such a great job taking pics this time around. You'll have to take my word for it that fun was had by all!

Thanksgiving Traditions

One of the wonderful things to look forward to during the holidays are the family traditions. I know many families do this tradition. We simply call it "Thankful Tom."

We started when Kierstin was like 3. I just told a story about a turkey at Thanksgiving named Tom. He managed to escape the farmer's table and so he gave a blessing he was thankful for for each of his feathers.

We usually do this the first week in November and display them on the front door to help us remember just how much we have to be thankful for.

Tyson: mom and dad, Ga (what he's calling Brian these days. We don't know why since he can say Brian), Bryce, Bradley & Kierstin, toys and nursery class.
Brain: Church, house, food, family, school, bike, bed
Bryce: Clothes, family, home, church, body, school, & food
Brad: family, friends, home, temple, scriptures, prayer
Mom: health & strength, food & clothes, temple, to live in fulness of times, book of mormon,
promise land, a loving husband who holds the Priesthood & awesome children who CTR!!
Dad: friends (especially church friends, freedoms & choices, body, gospel & testimony, bed
when I'm tired, family: sons, daughter & wife.

Kierstin was busy with homework this FHE. This is as far as her turkey got!

It is especially good this year with all we have going on to be reminded that we truly are blessed with so much!!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Camping at Cuyamaca

A purchase that we made that went a little above our means but I don't feel so guilty about is our trailer. I had always been camping as a kid. My dad took us to all sorts of little nooks and crannies that were off the beaten path when we lived in Utah.

I treasure all those memories. Even the ones where we had to set up the tent (you know the old fashioned kind where everyone has to have a pole to hold onto until they all get set up!) in the rain. When it was hard to get the fire going cuz it was too wet. Half the tent falling down in the night. Ahh, what adventure!

So when I married Danny and he said he liked to go camping we got all the gear. Which proved to be useful since he ended up being scout master for the next 7 years.

However, when he decided to get back into dirt bikes and we went out into the middle of nowhere, which was really terrific, don't get me wrong, until I asked where the bathroom facility was and he handed me the tp and a shovel! And come to find out, most ORV sites are like that, self contained. It was easy to talk me into the trailer.

In any case, I do feel guilty we don't take it out enough. So I planned a little weekend trip in mid October. I just chose some random state park in San Diego county since I haven't really been anywhere there except the beach camping, which I prefer Northern sites to southern in beach camping.

I was curious, and hopeful that it would be somewhat forested (I'm not fond of desert camping unless we have the dirt bikes)

I have to say I was more than pleasantly surprised. We arrived in the dark of night. Managed to find our spot, make a fire, roast s'mores and settle down for a pleasant night. It seemed like it would be pretty at night. It was really lovely in the morning.

It was called Lake Cyamaca, although we camped in the campground a few miles up. Unfortunately it had been 90% ravaged by the 2003 San Diego fires. Trees that were 500 years old had died although some were making a comeback. It was so interesting to see this once majestic forest, although just devasted, was making a comeback.

That morning, some firefighters came through the camp advertising a fundraising BBQ they were having that afternoon. We had planned on eating in the historic town of Julian but decided since someone was going to get our money it would be nice to give it to a good cause. Plus, I heard firefighters new how to BBQ so we decided to test it. We were rewarded by an incredible meal for a killer price. We gave the extra money we would have spent as a donation to the firehouse. It was so fun!

Here are the pics in random order...

Dad and Brad enjoying a yummy BBQ

Super Yummy BBQ!!

(FYI, firefighters can sure make a killer cooking fire!)

Even Tyson and Brian dug in!

Kierstin's going to kill me for posting this one..

Sorry Kierst, it's the only proof I have you were with us!

(note, be more camera friendly next time!)

Danny, Bryce, Brian, Ty & Myself were fortunate enuogh to get in on the ranger guided hike.

He explained all the history of the area and how the forest was making a comeback.

For miles and miles, this is what you see. You can just imagine how lush and beautiful it must have been. However, you can see all the shorter greenery coming in to make a comeback.

It's really mother nature reinventing herself, wonderous!

What has Brian been caughting eating one too many of? Hmmm....

Proof that boys never tire of being "king of the mountain!"

Tyson was dead asleep when we got there. Never know it by this pic.

He perked right up when he heard the words "fire and s'mores!"

Have to have proof mom was there too!

K Bryce, I think you're having a little too much wild & crazy fun!!

What boy doesn't love a good fire?

Especially one they helped dad build.

I think this is proof enough of the fun we had.

Can't have fun without getting down and dirty tootsies!!

The Scooter

The other day Bryce asked me if I remembered something that happened a couple of years ago that really was one of those unusual moments with a lesson learned. Since this blog is used mostly for a journal of what goes on in our family, I thought I would start documenting some of these little past moments so that they will be down for my kids to reflect on.

This is what Bryce wanted me to relate...

About 3 years ago I was sitting downstairs one morning at about 9:00 a.m. in our living room. Bradley comes running down the stairs with tears in his eyes. He was about 9 at the time. I thought he had fallen out of bed (he slept on the top bunk) or something. He finally calmed down a bit and breathed out that he just saw some guy take his scooter off our front porch! His room window was above the front porch. Since he slept on the top bunk he happened to look down and see this happen.

I should mention that Bradley had lost his first scooter and saved his own money to buy this one. So you can imagine how he was feeling.

I throw open the door and ran out to the street to take a look and sure enough, there was the kid making his way down the street.

I ran into the house, got my keys, started the car and raced down the street after him. By that time he was out on the main street but I was a mom on a mission. I caught up to him, rolled down the window and asked him who's scooter he had? I KNOW I caught him off gaurd. He stuttered around and I rephrased the question, "what the heck did he think he was doing taking my son's scooter."

He stammered around and finally lamely said "I was late to work and saw it on your porch and took it." I asked him where he worked, he said Juice it Up, which was in that general direction. I told him to hand over the scooter and he better give me his mother's real phone number right away or I was calling the police.

He gave me a number. I called it right away (thank goodness I brought my purse with phone.) It was the wrong number!! I told him to think carefully again, he gave me her name and number. He said she was at work. I got a voice mail and left a message for her to call me right away.

I let the kid walk the rest of the way to work. The mom called me an hour later. I related what had happened. She was apologetic and cited that he had been hanging around the "wrong crowd" recently and his behavior had been off. She said she would have him come and apologize to Bradley.

Did he ever... no. I was disgusted by that. I guess I should have called her back. But I didn't. In fact, Bradley's scooter was stolen several months later. I have to admit I wonder if it was him.

In any case, we all had a good discussion about stealing and how wrong it is.

We discusssed the lessons learned:

#1: How do the poor victims feel? Bradley felt so bad. He worked so hard for the money for that scooter!

#2: How dumb to do something like that. Eventually, you get caught doing something wrong and you have to pay for it in some way. I could have called the police and he would have had it on his record for a while, for what, a dumb scooter!

#3: Even if no person on earth catches you, Heavenly Father knows and then you really pay!

#4: One bad thing leads to another. If he had gotten away with taking the scooter. What was he going to tell his mom about where he got it. He would have had to lie!

#5: It's important what friends you hang around with. They can persuade you to do bad things!

I prayed that day that my kids would remember that lesson and help them to prevent them from falling prey to doing something like that themselves!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Price of Forgiveness? ... A Corn Dog.

As you know, I have 4 boys and 1 girl. I have grown up with a dad who served in some various scout position my whole growing up life. I have served consistantly in the Cub Scout program for the past 12 years. Having said that, I have to say that I have come to somewhat understand and appreciate certain aspects of the boy pyschie.

Here is an example of the appreciation I've learned;

I was at the ball field a couple of weeks ago watching one son play ball. I had another son and his friend with me, who were waiting for their game to start. I observed them over on the other side of the field tagging eachother with a baseball. I baseball mind you, not a t-ball; difference being the baseball is rather harder than the t-ball.

Of course, with my mom eye, I could see where this was going. However, the boys should be old enough by now to have figured it out for themselves. But being boys, fun overrules common sense. So this goes on for a little while until my son's friend catches him offguard and pegs him in the shoulder blade a little harder than intended. Sure enough, reflex boy action kicks in and my son turns around and pegs his friend with the ball pretty hard. Yes, that hurt!

My son, is of course, apologetic but to no avail. He turns and looks in my direction. We make that mother-son non-verbal contact of "I saw the whole thing!" I raise an eyebrow and turn away.

10 minutes later he comes over and sits besides me and announces he has lost one of his best friends. I tell him I'm sure it isn't that bad. "Yes it is. I said I was sorry and he said he didn't forgive me!" I tell him it would probably take me a while to forgive him too when I was writhing in pain. Of course my son wasn't convinced.

I bit later I give him a few $$ to go over and get a hotdog to eat and suggest that he take some of the $$ and get his friend one too. He looked at me dubiously and said "why would I do that when he's not even my friend? Besides, I wanted a hot chocolate too." I gave him the "raised eyebrow" and told him to suit himself but that was all the money I had.

I while later I notice my son walking over to his non-friend and handing him corn dog; in essense a peace offering. Said friend takes the proffered corn dog. No words spoken. A few minutes later, my son and his "nonfriend" are at least sitting in the same bleacher section.

By the time my other son was done with his game my son and his friend were standing next to eachother. I left the field to take the first son home.

When I came back to the game later on to watch the end and pick him up I notice the two laughing it up and talking as normal. I chuckle and relate all that had happened to the friends' father.

His response... "They had their first fight? Cool!" (typical)

You may find this boring and trivial but I am sitting here busting up. I have really come to love this about the boy physcie. For the most part they can have a tiff or blow up one moment and the next it's all forgiven and forgotten and back to the next match! I have to admit, and from some personal experience I must admit, that this is not so true of girls. Definately a saving grace!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Happy 15th Birthday Kierstin!!

My darling little daughter 15 years ago

October 22, 1994.

My sweet girl on her baptism day
7 years ago!

My beautiful 15 year old young woman!!

How does that happen? That I have a 15 year old Sophmore in High School?!#
I was just in high school myself, at least it feels like it; I admittedly know I don't look it. I remember vividly looking at moms saying, I don't feel like I'm thirty or forty something. It seems like yesterday! I used to really look at them and wonder at that. Like how could you not feel like it when you so look like it? I really used to scoff to myself. Now I KNOW and most of all feel what they meant. I am them, now!

Now I'm looking at my daughter, my precious gift from God and wondering, did I do a good enough job and I'm freaking out! I only have 2 1/2 more years and she's off on her own, to start her own life. To use the tools that I've hopefully helped her acquire to be able to navigate her way through her own life! She's almost all grown up and leaving me!

I remember those "old" ladies stopping me in the grocery lines and telling me to "treasure the time when they're young cuz it goes so fast!" As my daughter is pitching a MAJOR fit in the checkout line because I won't let her buy some candy. At that moment in time it was hard to not think "how am I going to miss this! It can't possibly go by fast enough!" Wisdom comes from experience, full circle. And here I am, the old lady, echoing those sentiments to the next generation. It does go by so incredibly fast.

It really hits when you look back through those captured moments in time. The cards she wrote, the books she made me, the pictures of those special moments and even walking past the little girl section at Target and knowing I'm past all those special moments! They really are times to be treasured!

And how I treasure them! Kierstin, you have really turned out to be a gem! It used to annoy me to no end that you would refuse to try things or do things but I realize now, that you are very selective about what you endeavor to do because you apply yourself 100% in what you choose to do. You expect to excel and do not settle for less. What a great characteristic that is going to serve you so well in life!

It took patience to suffer through your meticulous way of doing things. Erasing things over and over cuz it wasn't just the way you wanted. Reading things and asking questions over and over again to make sure you understood the task at hand. Now I am so proud of you and your excellence in school and achieving a 4.o GPA!!

I used to get so frustrated with your stubborn side when you would refuse to ride in the stroller, sit in the high chair or ride in the car seat. You didn't care what other kids were doing, you wanted it your way. Now I am so grateful for that obstinance as you apply it to not giving in to what the current fashions or trends are. You are not in the least bit swayed to do something if you do not feel it's right and you don't care what others think!

You are amazing in every way. I am so enjoying watching you bloom into this righteous daughter of God. I feel privileged to be your mother and appreciate the lessons you teach me. It is now my prayer you may continue on the path you're on! I LOVE you and always will!

~mom

Kierstin's Birthday Celebration!